YOU ARE FUCKING ADORABLE. I HATE YOU. I LOVE YOU.
Green eyes, I'd run away with you.
Green eyes, you're the one that I wanted to find.
I wonder if when you grow up, you know how the light outside at 10 pm looks like the light at 4 am, but you know it's 10 pm because the air is different, the trees feel lighter and sadder and more beautiful. I think when I'm old, if I can still feel those silent changes in nature, I will be a good person. I notice a lot more now, about everyone. I sat my butt down today on the only dry spot in the back of my little strip mall, right up next to the Charming Charlie door. I was afraid an employee would open it. I also say Rayna today. She is adorable! Making friends isn't so astonishing. Remember how hard life used to be? It was impossible to get out of bed, to lift my fingers to my cigarette. I'd see blood and bullets going through my head when I closed my eyes, I'd convulse in the arms of anybody who I could trust for a night. I cannot begin to fathom the amount of goodness I've had this past 8 months. Things were so horrible, but I've learned a LOT. It was a painful journey, but I made it to this plateau. I can rest my bones for a bit, but I know there's more ahead. I'm scared, but I have some faith in myself. I made it through. I've made it through a lot of shitty times, but I'm okay. Got a few scars to show, but they are mainly exterior. Those can be covered up. I am planning my sleeve now! I'm thinking this spring.
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