New answers in green, old in grey/default. It's my day off of work and I want to read that short story, clean, get homework done, and do this.
1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? Possibly. I can't tell if I'm addicted at this point. I think it would suck, because I smoke them on breaks. I kind of want to, but I think I could.
2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused? Single, but in love in a friendship-love sort of way. (So confused.) My heart is taken completely, but I'm single.
3: What if I told you that you were pretty? I would believe you now. I realize that I am pretty. I would smile and say "Thank you!"
4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? Still don't remember. Not that I recall, but it's possible.
5: Are you interested in anyone right now? I don't know. Yes.
6: What are you looking forward to in the next week? Going back to classes, seeing my ASL class again, hopefully moving up at work (ARGH!), Ryan giving me music, maybe finishing Requiem for a Dream with him, maybe shrooms haha. I am looking forward to going salsa dancing (finally!), spending time with Zach, seeing everyone at school before I go, maybe going to yoga, finally cleaning my room (it is a mess!), watching Shutter Island, living out my last couple days in Austin before I leave, and meeting my roommate Jenny. :-) Life is beautiful!
7: Do you want to be single? I feel the same way. But I think now, I'd like to experience having a serious boyfriend. I want to fully be in love, although I know it will be hard. That is an interesting question. I don't want to rush into my next relationship, because people are so important to me now. I used to just use them and disregard them, but I'm loving them now. If I am meant to be single right now, I can be.
8: Did you go out or stay in last night? Stayed in! It was my night off! I stayed in.
9: How late did you stay up last night? Probably until 11:45 pm. Until about 1:30 am.
10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot? Yes. But with Ryan it's confusing. But I like him as a person a lot. I realized it I think one time driving home from his house (I was on 620) and I was filled with a sudden, strong fear of how he's the only one I've ever opened up to so much, but that it's worth it because I'm learning to trust him. He says to focus on his actions, the good, not the bad. Why can't I trust him yet? I'm getting there. But that's when I realized, because I was willing to fight that fear and still go see him. I am currently liking someone a lot, and I got to see him today, which made me realise still how much I like him!
11: Last three things you had to drink? Homemade kombucha, mineral water, Sprite. Water, mango orange juice, honeydew kombucha.
12: Have you pretended to like someone? No. No, that's awful.
13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? Yes. It was rushed, I felt bad. No.
14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? Maybe a couple times. Yes, a lot.
15: Is it hard for you to get over someone? At first, it's very difficult and painful. But then one day I wake up and realize I'm okay. I'm over Joe and Susan and those people, but in general it is very difficult for me to get over people.
16: Think back five months ago, were you single? I was getting over Zach, yes. Yes.
17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? Sitting in my car outside Which Wich, smoking a cigarette, listening most likely to Alexi Murdoch. Getting into my car to drive to the movie theatre.
18: Hold hands with anyone this week? No. I want to hold hands more with my friends! Not unless you count Sufjan, haha!
19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? If I wanted to, but I don't want to. If I wanted to, but I don't want to.
20: What would you name your future daughter? I don't know. Pianorchestra.
21: Do you miss anyone? Yeah. Yes.
22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night? No. No.
23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? It took place on a couch, with a bad human being. I need to kiss a good person now. No. I don't even remember my last kiss.
24: Are you good at hiding your feelings? Very, but I am opening up a lot more to the world lately. I am pretty skilled.
25: Have you ever cried from being so mad? Yes, all the time. Yes.
26: Who did you last see in person? My parents, my coworkers, Lauren, etc. Jenna!
27: Are you listening to music right now? Yes. I am listening to "Yes." By Coldplay. Heh heh heh. Yes, I am listening to "Losing You" by the John Butler Trio (amazing song!).
28: What is something you currently want right now? 1) To feel okay again, like a did a while ago; 2) Feel more comfortable at work; 3) Be on top of my schoolwork; 4) To finish watching Requiem for a Dream; 5) To read "The Last Question." 1) For my room to be clean; 2) To be able to speak with Zach, just for fun.
29: What is the last thing you said out lot? "Okaaaay." "Nighty night, Jenna!"
30: How is your heart lately? Confused, restless, empty, needy, lovely, loving, different. Happy, but taxed.
31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? To feel g. When it rains or when I am cold, yes.
32: Are you wearing socks? No. Nope.
33: What do people call you? Bianca. B. Bianca.
34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? Probably not, he doesn't text me and I want to give him his space. Yes, I'm about 99.9% sure because he said he'd talk to me, and he's very true to his word on stuff like that! :-)
35: Are there any stressful situations in your life? My depression. Several, but luckily they are all "good" stressful.
36: Who did you last share a bed with? Ryan. Whilst sleeping: Christina. Whilst sleeping all night: probably my mother. Whilst relaxing: Audrey and Zach, haha!
37: Did you do something bad today? Hardly, I just woke up. Yes, I got cross at my mommy.
38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? My dad, yesterday outside of the drive thru at my work. Yesterday at 4:30 pm: Zach outside my car.
39: Do you get stressed out easily? I get worried about people easily. No, I am chill.
40: Will you sing today? I don't know... I sing at work, in the shower, in my house, in my car. I always always sing! I could not live if I couldn't sing!
41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? Yes, but now I try to eliminate that from my life. Too many times, yes.
42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Ryan J., Ryan H., Taylor, Lauren, sometimes Cat. Jenna, Lauren, or Zach.
43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? Same story! Yes, but I wasn't injured, my mom was.
44: What are you listening to right now? Violet Hill by Coldplay. I'm getting tired of new Coldplay right now. Time for a switch! A really good cover of "Video Games" by Lana Del Rey on YouTube.
45: What is wrong with you right now? I am afraid of change so much, although I know everything will be okay in the end. My right nostril is plugged up and I am SO tired. But I am happy.
46: What is on your wrists right now? Left: scars. Right: nothing. Left: nothing, ever. Right: Two Schlitterbahn wristbands and a rainbow Silly Band that turns into a clarinet.
47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? From my mom. From Zach.
48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? Hot chocolate! Hot apple cider.
49: Do you make wishes at 11:11? Yes, a lot of them are for Ryan and for my future. Yes!
50: Are you a good artist? Yeah. Music, yeah.
51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? It is the only thing that keeps me living. More than I could know.
52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? They were insanely different. I miss the feeling, the good parts. Feeling safe, mainly. But I was in a very tense place. Not. A. Bit.
53: Ever been on a golf cart? Yes... I can't remember... I really like golf carts. Vaguely remember one time.
54: Do you have trust issues? YES YES YES YES YES YES YES ever since Gmo. I have a hard time believing sometimes.
55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who? Zach. :-) Yes, Zach.
56: Do you own something from Hot Topic? Same. Some cartilage piercings, some shirts.
57: Do you use chap stick? Yes!! No.
58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face? Myself. Zach, kiddingly. Ryan, kiddingly. Yeah, my brother.
59: Do you have a little sister? I have Gaby and Sarah-Marie. No.
60: Have you ever been to New York? I'll go when I'm in love. Yes, but only in airports and driving through.
61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Yes. Yes.
62: Have you hugged someone within the last week? YEAAAHHH!!! Lots of people. I love hugs; of course!
63: What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping. On the laptop.
64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Uhh not really. I regret not kissing someone. No.
65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Yes, more than one. Yes.
66: Were your last three kisses from the same person? Unfortunately. Yes.
67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? No. No.
68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Sleep with someone else. It's nice to talk to somebody until you fall asleep. The last thing I said to Ryan before we fell asleep was "I know it doesn't seem like it, but I really do mean it." I like company!
69: Will next Friday be a good one? I don't know what I'm doing. I am scared.
2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused? Single, but in love in a friendship-love sort of way. (So confused.) My heart is taken completely, but I'm single.
3: What if I told you that you were pretty? I would believe you now. I realize that I am pretty. I would smile and say "Thank you!"
4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? Still don't remember. Not that I recall, but it's possible.
5: Are you interested in anyone right now? I don't know. Yes.
6: What are you looking forward to in the next week? Going back to classes, seeing my ASL class again, hopefully moving up at work (ARGH!), Ryan giving me music, maybe finishing Requiem for a Dream with him, maybe shrooms haha. I am looking forward to going salsa dancing (finally!), spending time with Zach, seeing everyone at school before I go, maybe going to yoga, finally cleaning my room (it is a mess!), watching Shutter Island, living out my last couple days in Austin before I leave, and meeting my roommate Jenny. :-) Life is beautiful!
7: Do you want to be single? I feel the same way. But I think now, I'd like to experience having a serious boyfriend. I want to fully be in love, although I know it will be hard. That is an interesting question. I don't want to rush into my next relationship, because people are so important to me now. I used to just use them and disregard them, but I'm loving them now. If I am meant to be single right now, I can be.
8: Did you go out or stay in last night? Stayed in! It was my night off! I stayed in.
9: How late did you stay up last night? Probably until 11:45 pm. Until about 1:30 am.
10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot? Yes. But with Ryan it's confusing. But I like him as a person a lot. I realized it I think one time driving home from his house (I was on 620) and I was filled with a sudden, strong fear of how he's the only one I've ever opened up to so much, but that it's worth it because I'm learning to trust him. He says to focus on his actions, the good, not the bad. Why can't I trust him yet? I'm getting there. But that's when I realized, because I was willing to fight that fear and still go see him. I am currently liking someone a lot, and I got to see him today, which made me realise still how much I like him!
11: Last three things you had to drink? Homemade kombucha, mineral water, Sprite. Water, mango orange juice, honeydew kombucha.
12: Have you pretended to like someone? No. No, that's awful.
13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? Yes. It was rushed, I felt bad. No.
14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? Maybe a couple times. Yes, a lot.
15: Is it hard for you to get over someone? At first, it's very difficult and painful. But then one day I wake up and realize I'm okay. I'm over Joe and Susan and those people, but in general it is very difficult for me to get over people.
16: Think back five months ago, were you single? I was getting over Zach, yes. Yes.
17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? Sitting in my car outside Which Wich, smoking a cigarette, listening most likely to Alexi Murdoch. Getting into my car to drive to the movie theatre.
18: Hold hands with anyone this week? No. I want to hold hands more with my friends! Not unless you count Sufjan, haha!
19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? If I wanted to, but I don't want to. If I wanted to, but I don't want to.
20: What would you name your future daughter? I don't know. Pianorchestra.
21: Do you miss anyone? Yeah. Yes.
22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night? No. No.
23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? It took place on a couch, with a bad human being. I need to kiss a good person now. No. I don't even remember my last kiss.
24: Are you good at hiding your feelings? Very, but I am opening up a lot more to the world lately. I am pretty skilled.
25: Have you ever cried from being so mad? Yes, all the time. Yes.
26: Who did you last see in person? My parents, my coworkers, Lauren, etc. Jenna!
27: Are you listening to music right now? Yes. I am listening to "Yes." By Coldplay. Heh heh heh. Yes, I am listening to "Losing You" by the John Butler Trio (amazing song!).
28: What is something you currently want right now? 1) To feel okay again, like a did a while ago; 2) Feel more comfortable at work; 3) Be on top of my schoolwork; 4) To finish watching Requiem for a Dream; 5) To read "The Last Question." 1) For my room to be clean; 2) To be able to speak with Zach, just for fun.
29: What is the last thing you said out lot? "Okaaaay." "Nighty night, Jenna!"
30: How is your heart lately? Confused, restless, empty, needy, lovely, loving, different. Happy, but taxed.
31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? To feel g. When it rains or when I am cold, yes.
32: Are you wearing socks? No. Nope.
33: What do people call you? Bianca. B. Bianca.
34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? Probably not, he doesn't text me and I want to give him his space. Yes, I'm about 99.9% sure because he said he'd talk to me, and he's very true to his word on stuff like that! :-)
35: Are there any stressful situations in your life? My depression. Several, but luckily they are all "good" stressful.
36: Who did you last share a bed with? Ryan. Whilst sleeping: Christina. Whilst sleeping all night: probably my mother. Whilst relaxing: Audrey and Zach, haha!
37: Did you do something bad today? Hardly, I just woke up. Yes, I got cross at my mommy.
38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? My dad, yesterday outside of the drive thru at my work. Yesterday at 4:30 pm: Zach outside my car.
39: Do you get stressed out easily? I get worried about people easily. No, I am chill.
40: Will you sing today? I don't know... I sing at work, in the shower, in my house, in my car. I always always sing! I could not live if I couldn't sing!
41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? Yes, but now I try to eliminate that from my life. Too many times, yes.
42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Ryan J., Ryan H., Taylor, Lauren, sometimes Cat. Jenna, Lauren, or Zach.
43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? Same story! Yes, but I wasn't injured, my mom was.
44: What are you listening to right now? Violet Hill by Coldplay. I'm getting tired of new Coldplay right now. Time for a switch! A really good cover of "Video Games" by Lana Del Rey on YouTube.
45: What is wrong with you right now? I am afraid of change so much, although I know everything will be okay in the end. My right nostril is plugged up and I am SO tired. But I am happy.
46: What is on your wrists right now? Left: scars. Right: nothing. Left: nothing, ever. Right: Two Schlitterbahn wristbands and a rainbow Silly Band that turns into a clarinet.
47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? From my mom. From Zach.
48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? Hot chocolate! Hot apple cider.
49: Do you make wishes at 11:11? Yes, a lot of them are for Ryan and for my future. Yes!
50: Are you a good artist? Yeah. Music, yeah.
51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? It is the only thing that keeps me living. More than I could know.
52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? They were insanely different. I miss the feeling, the good parts. Feeling safe, mainly. But I was in a very tense place. Not. A. Bit.
53: Ever been on a golf cart? Yes... I can't remember... I really like golf carts. Vaguely remember one time.
54: Do you have trust issues? YES YES YES YES YES YES YES ever since Gmo. I have a hard time believing sometimes.
55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who? Zach. :-) Yes, Zach.
56: Do you own something from Hot Topic? Same. Some cartilage piercings, some shirts.
57: Do you use chap stick? Yes!! No.
58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face? Myself. Zach, kiddingly. Ryan, kiddingly. Yeah, my brother.
59: Do you have a little sister? I have Gaby and Sarah-Marie. No.
60: Have you ever been to New York? I'll go when I'm in love. Yes, but only in airports and driving through.
61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Yes. Yes.
62: Have you hugged someone within the last week? YEAAAHHH!!! Lots of people. I love hugs; of course!
63: What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping. On the laptop.
64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Uhh not really. I regret not kissing someone. No.
65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Yes, more than one. Yes.
66: Were your last three kisses from the same person? Unfortunately. Yes.
67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? No. No.
68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Sleep with someone else. It's nice to talk to somebody until you fall asleep. The last thing I said to Ryan before we fell asleep was "I know it doesn't seem like it, but I really do mean it." I like company!
69: Will next Friday be a good one? I don't know what I'm doing. I am scared.
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