Robotripping

And the peaches and the mangoes that you could sell for me.

Drank half a bottle of NyQuil last night, finished it off with a small shot of rubbing alcohol (not recommended if you'd like to keep your esophagus lining intact), and waited for it to kick in. Unfortunately, it mainly kicked in once I woke up at 6 am and had to be at work by 7. I was robotripping my way through 75% of my shift, completely out of it. It took every last ounce of mental energy just to appear "normal." I told my assistant manager that I was just very tired because I had been in last night, but I know I seemed a bit off. I kept forgetting random things, could barely focus, kept slurring my words. I actually had a lady ask me if I was okay... I was sitting outside, 8 am, taking my break. It was so lovely. I was still tripping, so I went out and smoked a cigarette and laid down on the empty sidewalk. Some lady drove up to the sidewalk and was like "Are you okay?!" I was like "Yeah I'm just sleepy..." She said, "Isn't that kind of a cold place to sleep?" I said, "Yeah it's okay I work here." Ugh. Why. So yeah, robotripping was cool, I felt so high, but it sucked because I was working. If only I had had the day off, I coulda sat in bed and listened to music and trippy videos, but no I had to waste the high on work! I think that shit is bad, though. Next time I'll go for straight Robitussin, not NyQuil. That has all the acetaminophen shit that is hell for your liver and body. I feel very very sleepy now, even though I slept 2-3 hours once I got home from work. It's weird because I do want to get better. I don't want to be taking these drugs to fill an emptiness. I want to be taking them to experiment and have fun and have new experiences. I don't think taking a bunch of drugs because you're sad or feel empty is good. Last night would not have been that bad, I just had to think it out better. Now I understand what Ryan said about not being able to be alone and sober. He's scared of his own mind, and so am I. I understand now so much. There's stupid NyQuil stains on my sheets. What bullshit. I will get into DBT though. I still want to try LSD, shrooms, MDMA, PCP, ketamine, and salvia. That's it. I've tried DXM, it's pretty good. Just be smart about it, kids. Being stupid with drugs is both not fun and can be life-destructive. Guess I learned my lesson. NO DRUGS THE NIGHT BEFORE WORK!!! EVER!! New life rule. Oh and no more rubbing alcohol. That's disgusting.