Underneath this Hood

I wish I grew up the second I first held you.

Today was good. I slept a lot, which is good for me. I worry so much about getting hurt. I met a nice guy tonight, but I worry that when people see the real me, they will run away or think I'm lame. I always worry about that. I know that God's looking out for me and will lead me to where I must go, but sometimes it's hard to get through stuff. I don't know... I'm glad I have a job and stuff to do, I am kept busy now... I don't feel so useless. And I guess I'm getting in good with faith. I want to try whatever comes my way. I can't believe a guy actually noticed me... His name's Alex and he has long hair and a beard... He's 21 I think... Oh well, we'll see. I'm applying to UD, and I'm so scared. So scared, like I said, of getting hurt. I've been hurt I guess. I've been told I'm no good. I've been treated badly sometimes. It really sticks with you... Then you begin to fit the world into this perspective that feeds it: I'm less-than, there's something wrong with me. The novel idea I've been having lately is that there's really nothing wrong with me, but I just express myself in different ways. Hmm. It would be nice to feel good about myself for a while. Don't you think so?