I wasn't afraid of the soccer ball today. I just pretended that all of my problems resided beneath its leathery surface, and if I could bring contact between that and my skull, it would all be okay. I'd hurt it; I'd hurt you. It was the best feeling in the world. Just seeing that wretched ball coming down, and with all my force I can muster in my current state, just sending it flying. It was incredibly satisfying. The stupid soccer ball flew away in a black and white blur. Bye, bye, problems. There they go.
I'm so glad I joined soccer. It's such a great outlet. Just going out there, running as fast as I can, not letting people get away. I've still got a LONG way to go until I can consider myself good, but until then I adore the sport.
Anyways, today was pretty pensive. What you say is disgusting, and it makes my stomach turn. The thought of you peacefully sleeping at night is impossible to fathom, but I will continue to pray for you, love. I do everyday.
The world is so utterly confusing. How do people live the way they do, knowing that their sole purpose is to ruin others' lives? Don't they understand that when they hurt one person, it doesn't stop there. People are connected all around: family, friends, acquaintances. Does this just not cross their minds?
Or do they just push it back down into the place where it came from, their silenced conscience?
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