Afterparty: Part I

Well, this is fun. Too bad nobody really showed up. They're all somewhere in drawers, filed away safely. And I miss you. Please... Please come to my party. I try to entice with decorations, with paper and pen and book and word and language and English but they are stubborn like me. They won't come to my lovely afterparty. So, what then. I'm left alone with the stupid green pen, it's growing parched every second... second... three seconds. Nope, nothing.

So, this has been one of the most hellish weeks. I can recall other hellish weeks, though. Arizona was. Until I got on a Jeep and remembered how to laugh. I think I forgot again somewhere along the way. The Whole Foods weeks. I could just label it all, no? But I won't. Ah, yes, the Pat redemption week! Sitting by a piano. How lovely.

I'm sorry, you probably understand not a word of this gibberish.

Well, it was just an off, odd, bad week. Horrible, in fact. I wasn't there or present. I can't really put words or phrases to it... It's more like the absence of word, of THOUGHT. So much for my resolutions.

And it's just awful when you find the solution to these problems.

"Go out! Enjoy the world; it's yours!"

"Take some photography."

"Talk with friends."

"Surprise someone."

I can't.

Not without a proxy at least. And I dislike proxies.

So it's as if you've found the solution but can do nothing to carry it out. It's worse than no solution. At least then you can keep your mind occupied with the quest... What is the answer? How do I do this? But when you know, you just can't... Then the chase is done, there's one part left... But no. It cannot be done.

And nothing is incoherent enough to make no sense.

This is absolute foaming garbage. I hate it. All of it.

Please.

Let's make this next week a good one.

Please.