It Was Better When I Was Denying This

okay so this is going to make no sense to you.

i saw what she had said. about how she missed us. about how we got her through her darkest times, and we were the reason she was still living. i can relate, i really can, but it's sad to see that i'm credited where i shouldn't be. i remember, i would blow her off because she wasn't my friend. i would avoid her because i didn't want to talk to her. and when i did, talk to her, i'd want to be somewhere else.

such a good "friend", right?

lately things have been either great or horrible with my friends. i either feel great to be around them, sad that they're moving on, or guilty that i don't care.

and some people are right sometimes.

now, my love. we must part...

these last few days have been so weird for me.
i had the worst nightmares last night, but i'm afriad they might not be nightmares... they were so real, i could feel them and hear them, even when i was awake.

also, i've learned it's against my nature to avoid people. once they enter my life, i can't let them go. they have to leave themselves, but still it hurts. i guess i'm just too loving a person.