Rhapsody

George Gershwin- Rhapsody in Blue (for piano). GENIUS.

It's probably my favorite song of the moment, because it is keeping me alive and awake. Barely.

Some other favorites of the moment include:

Lara's Theme from Dr. Zhivago

Jesusland by Ben Folds

Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 by Chopin

(I'M LEARNING ALL OF THOSE ON PIANO!)

I, however, am NOT learning Rhapsody in Blue. It's crazy hard! I'd probably give myself a heart attack if I tried. Maybe one day!

Check it out! These are all great songs to listen to while doing homework. They're calming but still keep you awake. They're perfect.

Stillness of the Mind

Is what I am currently listening to. Off of the "A Single Man" soundtrack, introduced to me by my friend Sarah. Lovely.

I think the world is a dreadful place for a person who can put it all in perspective. Who has that horrid, horrid stride backwards to peer into the glass window that our purple little noses are mashed up against, as they have been, so that it seems not like glass at all. And then the shooting line emerges: they all, one by one and in complete and strict time, fall into neat little geometric figures and are free from life's obscenities. Free, but utterly dumbfounded at the numbers and progressive evil that has wrapped itself within the confines of a pristine haven. Free, but left to witness. It is much akin to the situation of a survivor of a shipwreck: the living all are set deep within their lifeboats to view the spectacle of a thousand dreams, ten thousand families, one-hundred-thousand could-have-beens-but-will-never-be's float and bob in the fireworks of a groaning and failing mechanism. With quick yet mercilessly un-hastened time, the familiar is sent to its grave in an unknown recess of pivotally subdued hues, black, black, all they see stretched in the corners of their unforgiving and opened eyes. There is no time for grieving the past in the situation, for the impending need for survival among strange people and even stranger seas rears its reality and the grieving is left to the ultimately surviving, to tell their stories with a smile by day but to weep incessantly by night, 'neath their sheaths of white and grey strands.

Thus is the mind of a free one. Whilst held captive by society's delightful grasp and light show of "happiness," there is not a worry for a blind eye. Once the reflection is clear and the glass has been voyaged away from--perhaps a good 4 feet is all it takes?--the shock ensues painlessly, sans a twinge of numb or pain. Then is the world, in all its former and gaudy splendor, laid out like a feast of poison grapes, morphine apples strewn about by the hand of a great being on satin asbestos.

Then we are left to be shot; bullets of crystalline ignorance encrypt a Braille aphorism upon our beaten backs.

I cannot unhinge my ankles enough to dare this. But I can, at times, catch a lachrymose view of it all. I feel as though I am atop Mount Everest itself, sore, exhausted, weeping without a slight manner.

I really do find reality quite interesting. Then I must step back into it, and return to the duties of Spring.

The Morning After (I Say Yes)

"Say Yes" by Elliot Smith.

It goes back to April 2008... That's the song Kumal played, that I called "The Morning After" for so long. That struck a chord with me. That, upon first time of hearing it, I adored it. This is an atypical occurrence with me. The song truly struck me and I even composed a poem (well, I can't call it that since I was so young and the poem is not good at all) after it. I could never figure out the song since I had not yet been fully introduced to the concept of YouTube. Mr. Ben Folds opened with this song at my show, and it sounded incredibly familiar and impeccability well-sung and composed. I wanted to find out more. I did not. I did, however, discover that the name of the song is "Say Yes" since my friend was lucky enough to snag the set list after the concert. Still familiar. I just recently checked up on Ben's MySpace music profile and saw an update that talked about him covering a song by Elliot Smith. Naturally, I clicked on it since what I've heard of Elliot Smith so far has been good. The video went on to explain that he covered "Say Yes" by Elliot Smith for some Chicago promo-type deal.

So that's what it is.

"Say Yes" by Elliot Smith. After 2 years and a month, I've found the song. Thank you, Elliot Smith, for composing such a touching song. And thank you, Ben Folds, for having a delightful taste in music and having such talent and wisdom as to choose this song to cover and open a concert with. Bold move, good move.

Ten Minutes to Twelve

I sit, awake, working on an English outline. Why?

Today I drove in the back of a pick-up truck to an ice-cream joint where I was lent money by a friend of mine. It led me to a strong compelling sense to open the door to my brother's room and sift through the old photography that lays dormant there beside his arched-and-never-opened window. I realized that I was a very cute toddler and my mother was a very beautiful middle-aged young mother. Then I put some of my photography in a crappy frame. Sometimes I get a little too proud... I need 30 years. Give me 30 years, world, and I promise I will return with talent and love.

But for tonight, I will remain in my room with a cloth draped over my knees and a glaze dropped over my eyelids.

Narcolepsy Fell Asleep

Well, that's done. I wish I could be less observant of myself. Maybe then I would be less aware of myself and a little more innocent.

I'm missing the war.